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Let me tell you about the most embarrassing kidnapping in history. There’s a kidnapper trying to act super tough. He asks Timmy if the number is really his mom’s, and Timmy just says “yes” like nothing is wrong. The kidnapper says he’ll find out how much Mom will pay to get Timmy back. But Timmy’s only response? “I’m playing Candy Crush, ignore me.” He’s more focused on his game than being kidnapped. When the kidnapper calls Mom, she just declines the call. So he asks for Dad’s number instead,

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