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“I accidentally discovered my roommate’s secret side job… and it’s wild. Last week, I came home way earlier than usual. His car was in the driveway, even though he wasn’t supposed to be home yet. I walk inside… and I hear him talking. At first I think he’s on the phone… but then I hear him say, ‘Hey… I’ve been thinking about you all day.’ And I’m immediately like… oh no. Then he says, ‘Come closer… don’t be shy.’ So I quietly peek inside his room… and there he is… pajama pants, whispering into a