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Flip you, melon farmer. It was my first try. I guarantee if you were in my 5th grade class that day, you would have shat your Chewbacca jammies. It's all subjective. Anyways. I'll spare you my true opinions on the endless by-the-book establishments that rejected my patronage, and I'll withhold the painful long-winded details from my years of saving lunch money, of prematurely cashing savings bonds and some occasional vital stealing.

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