קלײַב אַלץ אױס

I’ve been "renting" my neighbor’s dog for $20 a week so I don’t look like a creep when I come home at 3 AM. I’m 28, and because of my job, I usually get home around 2 or 3 in the morning. My neighborhood is one of those too quiet places where everyone knows everyone’s car. After a few weeks of walking from my car to my front door in the pitch black, I noticed the curtains in the house across the street twitching every single night. I realized I had become the "suspicious character" of the block.