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The cameras flash. The crowd cheers. President Donny walks to the podium… chest out… smiling proudly. “Today,” he says, raising his hand dramatically, “we have achieved the GREATEST victory against Iran… maybe in history!” Crowd goes wild. Flags wave. Cut to behind the stage… A general whispers nervously, “Sir… we actually lost… our systems failed… we had to retreat…” Donny freezes for one second… then smiles again. Back on stage— “We won so hard,” Donny continues, “that we decided to leave earl