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I swear, every time I log into Roblox I lose three years off my life. Why does every game either take seven minutes to load or immediately blast some royalty‑free dubstep straight into my soul. And don’t even get me started on the avatars. I join a server and it’s like a fashion show hosted by a blender: one person is a 12‑foot buff bacon with glowing wings, another is a literal cereal box, and then there’s me… still wearing the same shirt I picked in 2016 because I’m emotionally attached. And

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