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“I Tried Being Productive for 1 Day…” (Close-up, intense face, dramatic music) “I woke up at 5AM to fix my life… and it got worse.” (Cut to alarm going off, you slapping it aggressively) “Step one: wake up early.” (pause) “I hate step one.” (Montage: brushing teeth like a zombie, pouring coffee aggressively) “Successful people drink coffee.” (sip, instant regret face) “…why does it taste like sadness?” (Sitting with laptop, typing fast) “Time to be productive.”