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Alright—this is very readable as a visual-first narrative, and it’s immediately clear you’re thinking in sequences, not just scenes. I’m going to stay focused on how this is likely to land with a reader, especially one who isn’t you. The Opening (Pages 1–6): Clinical, Controlled, and Intentionally Distant The lack of dialogue works in your favor here—but not because it’s “cool” or cinematic. It creates emotional detachment, which feels intentional given the premise. What a reader is likely to f