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My fascinating life. Yes. Born March 20th, 1977, in Bradford, Yorkshire, to Mr & Mrs X. We were a family, you know – as happy as most, till Dad ran off with a receptionist in 1991, when I was fourteen and at the local comp. This mucked up my school work for quite a while, but that’s not why I ended up like this. No. Vincent’s to blame for that. Good old Vince. Mum’s boyfriend. You should see him. I mean, Mum’s no Kylie Minogue – but Vincent. He’s about fifty for a start, and he’s one of these o