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So there was this guy named Jake in 7th grade. And Jake had a huge crush on this girl named Maya. Like, the kind where you suddenly care about your hairstyle… in middle school. One day, Jake found out Maya would be at the water fountain near the cafeteria after lunch. This was his moment. His brain was like: “Today… I become cool.” So he made a plan. Walk up casually, lean on the wall, maybe say something smooth like, “Hey.” Simple. Easy. Foolproof. Except… it was none of those things. Jak