Pāhonoa te oro

Does anybody else get really sad but just can't cry no matter how hard you try? I hate it. I'll randomly start getting this feeling of deep despair for no reason whatsoever and I know that crying helps you get all that emotion out but I try so hard to cry and I just. can't. It feels like I'm faking being depressed but that doesn't even make sense because nobody knows that I'm depressed, so why would I bother faking it? I just feel empty. Also, sorry for not uploading in a while.