Pāhonoa te oro

I'm a straight cis woman, and for the longest time ever since I was ~10-12 I am obsessed with gay porn. It started from me feeling like my body was actually a dude, I was just born female. I kept feeling uncomfortable with straight porn for some reason. Nowadays I can only feel aroused when I am imagining myself as a guy. My homophobia was so bad because I cannot see a gay couple or a happy bisexual man without feeling disgusted or uncomfortable. I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to