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If my brain had rules, these would be them. Rule number one — the moment you decide to be productive, I will suddenly make everything else 10x more interesting. Cleaning your room? Nah… let’s think about your entire future instead. Rule number two — if you open your phone for “just 2 minutes,” I …

If my brain had rules, these would be them. Rule number one — the moment you decide to be productive, I will suddenly make everything else 10x more interesting. Cleaning your room? Nah… let’s think about your entire future instead. Rule number two — if you open your phone for “just 2 minutes,” I will fast-forward time. Congratulations, it’s been 2 hours and you did absolutely nothing. Rule number three — at 2:00 a.m., I become a philosopher. Every mistake, every cringe moment, every life deci