[upbeat, mocking intro]
Hello 2126! Let's talk about Coachella 2026.
[dramatic pause]
A music festival in the desert where people paid two thousand dollars to get sunburned next to a dead mechanical whale.
[amused]
Let's go.
[enthusiastic]
The fashion. Oh boy.
[sarcastic]
Fishnet bodysuits. Thigh-high boots. Feather headdresses. Tiny sunglasses. And body glitter. So much glitter. People left looking like they lost a fight with a disco ball.
[funny]
One trend was "naked