Pāhonoa te oro

[upbeat, mocking intro] Hello 2126! Let's talk about Coachella 2026. [dramatic pause] A music festival in the desert where people paid two thousand dollars to get sunburned next to a dead mechanical whale. [amused] Let's go. [enthusiastic] The fashion. Oh boy. [sarcastic] Fishnet bodysuits. Thigh-high boots. Feather headdresses. Tiny sunglasses. And body glitter. So much glitter. People left looking like they lost a fight with a disco ball. [funny] One trend was "naked