Pāhonoa te oro

I’m writing this because I need a clear record of where my head has been. I want my doctor to understand the full picture, and I want something I can look back on later to see how far I’ve come. Lately I’ve been overwhelmed. I care deeply about Christian, and that connection scares me because it matters so much. When I get afraid of losing him, I pull back. When things feel uncertain, I retreat. I don’t want to lose what we have, and I don’t want to repeat the same patterns. I want us to take th