that mattered so much and I understand why the pattern I had made you feel like you weren't a priority even when you were. I own that completely."
Then pause. Let that land genuinely. Then.
"I also think we both had patterns that made it harder than it needed to be. Not to assign blame. I just think if we're actually going to do this differently it would help to understand both sides of what happened."
Then stop and genuinely listen.