Alright—this is very readable as a visual-first narrative, and it’s immediately clear you’re thinking in sequences, not just scenes. I’m going to stay focused on how this is likely to land with a reader, especially one who isn’t you.
The Opening (Pages 1–6): Clinical, Controlled, and Intentionally Distant
The lack of dialogue works in your favor here—but not because it’s “cool” or cinematic. It creates emotional detachment, which feels intentional given the premise.
What a reader is likely to f