"Thank you for calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Field Office Division of Cybercrime and Financial Fraud.
This line is currently under active electronic surveillance as part of Case File November-Six-Niner-Four. Your incoming signal has been geo-located and your hardware ID is being logged for federal processing.
Please remain on the line. A Digital Forensic Specialist will be with you shortly to verify your credentials and secure your location. Do not disconnect.